I made her out of chalk in my very own dream. When she was ready I ripped her off the wall and held her in my arms.
It wasn't 43 anymore and the promise of the wind outside the window made me shiver.
Then he came and told me to put some colour on her.
"She can't be without colour" he had said. I didn't turn around to see his face because his voice turned my insides. Who was that terrible man? Without a word I obeyed.
Picking up the chalk I coloured her hair deep red, just like mine. I did it slowly because I knew that if I finished the task quickly, he would ask something else of me.
"She is you, so what do you want her to be? Happy? Aroused?....Draw a smile on her face and wake her up."
Her smile was crooked and it made her look distorted, but then again I felt distorted, so?
"Wake her up! Shake her!"
What was she exactly I didn't know. Human, a doll, a reflection? Suddenly she opened her eyes and looked at me. I pitied her.
"Ask her to do something, anything!" his voice commanded.
"Dance, please, stand up and dance." I told her softly, kindly.
The poor think struggled to stand on her feet but she was so wobbly I had to hold her by the armpits.
"Ask her again! Don't just hold her like this..."
"Run" I whispered, "Run away, to the red forest, it's there." I pointed outside the window. The thing turned its head around to look outside and then she looked back at me.
She opened her mouth and I thought I was going to hear her voice but no. The damn thing had to laugh at me, mock me to my face. She laughed and laughed and then she screamed rather than laughed and I just wanted her to shut up.
"Please stop!" I begged, "Stop it now! Shut it! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
But she didn't.
So, I squeezed my hands inside her mouth and ripped her jaw out of its socket.
The bitch! I made her and this is what I got in return.
"Look at what you've done now!" the voice said.
I look down at her. Her mouth is all wrong now, her eyes move, I feel horrible.
"I could fix her." I said and picked up the chalk again.
"It's ok." the voice said and whispered in my ear..." We can hide her and noone will find her. The forest can claim her... hide her forever."
"It isn't right, after all she is me."
"You think too much, look at her, she is all ruined now, there's nothing you can do for her. It's not 43 anymore..there won't be any smell." he said in a conspirational whisper.
"True" I said and shamelessly threw her over my shoulder like a piece of old cloth.
.................................................................................
I walk to the window. It's barred.
"I wish I could go there too. It's so beautiful....so cool and soft and the colours..."
"You can't, you will never go there! Now throw her out!"
"Are you sure noone will find her?"
"Your secret will be safe and I won't tell a soul."
I watch her body being sucked slowly through the window. The wind catches her and blows her away.
