It is the end of Spring, just before Summer burns the buds and dries the fields that I first feel that my blood is clogging my veins making me all sleepy. Summer is coming and I feel heavy and full, content and bored.
No, No. This won't do me any good.
A strange artistic desire popped out from within me just as I was staring at the white walls of my humble flat in the suburbs.
I need colour, I need new life.
I was never much of a painter though I have tried it on several occasions in my life, more for therapeutic reasons rather than driven by the fire of artistic expression.
I'm guessing that my need for change, for colour, for new life is founded on psychological grounds; the artist within me has yet to awaken. However, the drive is strong and so is the ice-cold light reflecting from my walls, especially the wall above my bed.
This is the wall I must reform first.
Yes, yes. I need to see life and colour and feel passion the very moment my eyes open.
And blood it is, for blood should be; so, out of me it goes and on the wall it splashes.
I slice both wrists and lay on my bed, two buckets on either side. Soon, too soon for my liking, my wrists heal and I have to cut them open again...such as waste of time.
Too bored after a while, I bite them open, the taste is good but I am getting seriously bored.
The buckets on either side of me are half full; if my calculations are correct this is enough for one wall.
Ah, the delights of creation!
My paintbrush soaks and drips on my hand. I lick my fingers, I lick the wall, I make love to the wall.
Why hadn't I think of this before?
My wall is blood red I roll on it, eat it and take a few pictures perhaps? I don't see why not, I haven't looked or felt that good since the glorious 90's!
This is colour, this is new life and passion and freedom; my body is empty and light and bendy and needy...
Oh, so needy. I ache, I am hungry and thirsty again. What a glorious revelation!
I quickly pick up the phone and dial her number.
"No, no don't come, I'll meet you outside. We can go to the restaurant you fancy so much. I can watch you eat and then drink..."
"You sound different tonight; delighted, happy, refreshed!"
"Oh I am. I painted my wall red!"
"Are you thirsty a lot then?"
"Yes, but I won't drink, just a sip, just for the buzz."
"Just a sip eh? Well, I'll pack up some juice, just in case."
"Yeah, you do that!"
"Don't be late again!"
"No, I won't, the thirst is too strong for that!"
I hung up the phone and change the filthy rag that used to be my dress.
Something black perhaps...and lacy and dark just so that I can absorb as much of her light that I can.
She'll be the spring, the green and red, I'm sure.
She's my fine new wine, all mine to drink, all pure!
